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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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So, I’m cruisin’ down the streets, right? Hit up the main drag, Al-Fahahil Street. It’s always buzzing, like a beehive on caffeine. I’m just tryin’ to grab some coffee at my fav spot, the local café. You know, the one with the best karak tea? Yeah, that one. But guess what? They ran out of milk! Like, how do you run out of milk in a city where everyone drinks tea like it’s water? Ugh!

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